Never be nice to anyone, ever

Nikki Finke writes about a protest by some handicapped folks over Jerry Lewis’s winning a humanitarian lifetime achievement type award this weekend at the Oscars. Let’s leave aside the fact that these were people with muscular dystrophy protesting a man who has raised over $2 billion (with a B) for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Here’s what really irked me:

“They even duped one of the idiot security guards into letting someone use the rest rooms. And when the door opened, they stormed the grand lobby,” an organizer told [Finke].

You mean you were able to “dupe” an “idiot security guard” into letting a pitiful person in a wheelchair use the restroom so they don’t soil themselves? God, what was that moron with a fake badge thinking?? Why didn’t he just demand that this brilliant faker rejoin the picket line, sneering “Go ahead, piss yourself you loser cripple” as he did so???

The lesson, as always? Never be nice to anyone, ever. They’ll almost certainly screw you.