July 18, 2008

Children at the theater

By: Sonny Bunch

Over at CNN’s entertainment blog, Audrey Irvine is complaining about children at the theater:

So consider this. You’ve paid $9 (or more) for the ticket, $4 for the popcorn and you’ve threaded your way to the seat your friends have been fighting to save for you. You get settled to enjoy the movie, one you’ve been dying to see. Then it happens — the crying baby, the kid asking their parents questions, the foot kicking your chair.

Isn’t this a PG-13 rated movie? Isn’t it past their bedtime? It seems like no curfew is necessary when parents are bringing their kids to adult movies. It’s as if the children are their friends.

Some of the commenters are not charitable with Audrey. A representative example:

Well, gee…not everybody can afford the movie plus a sitter…and not everyone has a huge extended family just waiting to perform babysitting services.

But wait, we’ve just learned it’s all about YOU! Here’s an idea: If dealing with the paying public in a public venue offends you, then don’t go.

Hm. Well, considering Audrey is speaking of (I think) a midnight screening of an incredibly dark, mature film (PG-13 or no, The Dark Knight is no kiddie-flick), I think her point is more than fair. What the commenter is really saying is that it’s all about her: her right to bring a screaming child into a theater and disrupt the viewing experience of the 500 other patrons just because she won’t spend the money to get a sitter. A small, screaming baby has no business being at a midnight screening. Or any evening movie at all, really–it’s one thing to have an out of control child at a morning/early afternoon screening of the latest Pixar film. It’s another thing entirely to have them destroying the enjoyment of the film for everyone else in the audience.

I’ve never, ever understood parents who take small children to the theater at night. What is wrong with you? If you can’t afford the babysitter, don’t hoist your miserable little offspring and their distracting noises onto the rest of us. It’s one thing if the child is reasonably well behaved–it’s another thing altogether when they scream/cry/talk too loudly. I would pay good money to go to a theater with a “No Children After 6 PM” policy. And a “No Teenagers After 9 PM” policy would go a long way with me as well. What can I say, I’m a curmudgeon.