The 1980s rise from the grave

The new A-Team movie better not disappoint me. You can’t invoke childhood nostalgia and then tear it to bits. When I was in second grade, my entire family dressed up as the A-Team for Purim (the Jewish holiday that resembles Halloween with more alcohol.) Thankfully, the trailer gives me hope.

Coming soon: A remake of Red Dawn:

A $75 million movie from MGM about a Chinese communist invasion of the United States. A brazenly patriotic smack-down of Obama-era socialism. Centering around an Afghanistan war vet. Starring Tom Cruise’s son. Featuring music by Toby Keith. With a plot devised with help from the RAND Corporation.

Recently, I joined the distinguished editor of Doublethink, along with our better halves, for a screening of the original Red Dawn. It was, and still is today, patently awful. So, while, it is basically impossible for the new version to be worse, I ask this of the producers: If you’re going to get political, please don’t be stupid like Avatar. I don’t want to be embarrassed.