Will ninja lobby block Sotomayor confirmation?

If I were Judge Sotomayor, I would be concerned about the gun lobby. But I would be much more afraid of the nunchuk lobby. Doesn’t anybody remember what happened to the last Supreme Court nominee who suggested that states have the right to ban ninja weapons?

Of course nobody remembers! When ninjas take you out, they make sure that nobody even remembers you even existed in the first place!

In an ominous sign of things to come, celebrity ninjas have already begun to speak out against Sotomayor:

Ninja Turtles Press Conference

(Photo courtesy of Paul Tassi, who recently did a fascinating interview with ninja turtle Michaelangelo.)

If I handled communications for the ninja lobby, I would be sure to point out that the Second Amendment protects “the right of the people to keep and bear arms.” It does not say firearms. Just arms.

Why? Because James Madison was probably a ninja.