Mastering the Give and Take, Silent ‘F$#@ You’s’, and Key Principles About Taking Feedback

In the narrative of our professional lives, feedback plays a crucial role, akin to an editor’s notes in a manuscript. It refines our skills, sharpens our understanding, and propels our growth. However, the art of feedback – both giving and receiving it – is nuanced, often laden with emotional undertones. For young professionals, mastering this art can be a game changer, especially when your boss is a boomer.

1. Giving Feedback: The Constructive Approach 

Offering feedback is not just about pointing out what’s wrong. It’s about guiding someone towards a better version of their work or themselves. 

Be Specific and Objective: General comments like “You need to do better” are not helpful. Instead, pinpoint specific areas and provide clear examples. “Your report had insightful data, but including more case studies could enhance its credibility,” is specific and actionable. 

Focus on the Issue, Not the Person: Personal criticisms can be damaging and unproductive. Keep the feedback focused on the task or behavior, not the individual’s character. 

Offer Solutions, Not Just Critiques: Constructive feedback means offering ways to improve. If you point out a problem, suggest potential solutions or resources. 

Timing and Environment Matter: Choose an appropriate time and setting. Feedback given in haste or in front of peers can come off as insensitive or embarrassing.

2. Receiving Feedback: The Growth Mindset 

Receiving feedback, especially if it’s critical, can be challenging. It requires openness and a willingness to learn. 

Listen Fully: Resist the urge to defend yourself immediately. Listen to the feedback completely, seeking to understand the perspective being offered. 

Ask Questions for Clarity: If certain aspects of the feedback are unclear, ask questions. This shows engagement and a genuine desire to improve. 

Separate Yourself from Your Work: Remember, feedback is about your work or behavior, not your worth as an individual or professional.

Use It as a Learning Opportunity: Reflect on the feedback. What can you learn from it? How can it help you grow? Even if you disagree with parts of it, there may be valuable insights to glean.

3. Creating a Feedback-Rich Culture 

In workplaces where feedback is normalized and encouraged, growth and innovation thrive. Here’s how you can contribute to building such an environment: 

Encourage Peer-to-Peer Feedback: It shouldn’t always be top-down. Peer-to-peer feedback can be incredibly insightful. 

Normalize Regular Feedback: Make feedback a regular part of meetings or reviews, not just an occasional event. 

Lead by Example: If you’re in a leadership role, show that you value feedback. Actively seek it out and respond to it gracefully.

4. Take a Breath and Process Everything 

The art of feedback, both giving and receiving, is essential in the professional world. It’s not just about the words spoken or heard but about the intent and willingness to engage in a process of continuous improvement. By mastering this art, we open doors to not just better work but also to stronger, more collaborative relationships.