How to Enjoy Christmas
There are two trees in the living room — the Christmas tree and the cat tree. My wife plucks Archie, perched like a partridge, from the latter and snuggles with him. A furry friend, a cup of cocoa, or a Yule log burning bright; all offer a nice way to get cozy during this chilly time of year.
If we venture outdoors, we can see strings of lights, admire neighbors’ decorations, and visit eclectic holiday markets. Last weekend, we went to one such market in Dubuque, Iowa. This weekend, my wife Ellen and I plan on going to the Christkindlmarket — a jumble of a spelling, but an easy enough word to say. It’s a festive spot filled with vendors sporting everything from candy and ornaments, to demon masks (perhaps depicting Krampus) and religious articles from the Holy Land.
Since we were first dating, we’ve made Christkindl a tradition. The first year, we went to Daley Plaza in Chicago. Last year, we went to the market outlet at Wrigleyville, which seemed less congested than the one at Daley Plaza, but this venue, unfortunately, will not be hosting the market this season. And now, as newlyweds, Ellen and I hope to go to the Christkindlmarket in Aurora, Illinois, this weekend.
In Northwest Quarterly, I just read that during each weekend leading up to Christmas, the city of Ottawa is hosting their Chris Kringle Market, the name of which sounds suspiciously similar to the market we’re visiting on Saturday. Everyone, from small family businesses to mega-chain superstores, is ready to sell their goods.
Regardless of what pastimes we find ourselves exploring, all the things I have mentioned up till now are only the trappings of the season. We have yet to hit the delectable core of the edible Yule log. The meaning for all the lights and pomp and circumstance is (or originally was) to call to mind the One who is the Eternal Light who entered the world with heavenly pomp and earthly poverty.
Christmas is about the Christ. The translation of the German word Christkind is “Christ Child,” the traditional giver of gifts to the youth. The season (and it is a whole season, not just a single day) takes us back to the birth of Jesus at Bethlehem, the city where King David had also been born.
In recalling this event, we make ready for the future. We are reminded it was a holy night, a silent night. Sleeping in the manger, a container for animal feed, is He who is the Bread of Life. The triad of gifts for Jesus, brought by the Magi, points to His royalty and His future burial. We can even see the homey Christmas tree pointing to another Tree on which the Child would one day hang as a Man.
Christmastime, and the season of Advent leading up to it, remind us to get back to the basics. It is about the Holy Family, a poor family of migrants. It’s about God the Son willing to be born in the cold, into poverty, and into a life culminating in sacrifice. The greatest Christmas Gift was His sacrifice.
Perhaps Christmas calls us to show charity to the poor and the outcast. Perhaps it calls us too to love our family members — even during troubling times — and to be grateful for what we’ve been given.
Robin Wall Kimmerer is on to something when she talks about the “gift economy,” a relationship she sees most clearly exemplified in nature. But a deliberate gift economy seems uniquely human, certainly intentional. In her essay “The Serviceberry,” Kimmerer writes:
In a gift economy, wealth is understood as having enough to share, and the practice for dealing with abundance is to give it away. In fact, status is determined not by how much one accumulates, but by how much one gives away. The currency in a gift economy is relationship, which is expressed as gratitude, as interdependence and the ongoing cycles of reciprocity. A gift economy nurtures the community bonds that enhance mutual well-being; the economic unit is “we” rather than “I,” as all flourishing is mutual.
The emphasis in the gift-giving is no longer on self, and there is a lesson here for all of us. There can be two overarching motives for giving. First, there is genuine generosity, which is part and parcel to Kimmerer’s gift economy, a relationship producing gratitude giving way to reciprocity.
A second motive can be the social expectation of shopping, purchasing, and bestowing gifts on those around us — a social pressure more than a charitable desire. This motivation leads to the buying frenzy of the holidays that keeps Amazon and the U.S. Postal Service so busy.
I think the first motive and the idea of the gift economy are closer to the message of the season. They would make for a better, happier world to live in too. In receiving gifts, the best response is gratitude. In giving to others, the best gift is one that requires some self-sacrifice. If you’ve read O. Henry’s classic short story “The Gift of the Magi,” you know how a lover is willing to sacrifice his most precious possession to provide a handsome gift for the beloved.
It’s not the thought that counts, nor is it the price tag. It is the sacrifice. That fills your gift with meaning and value. When it comes to solving today’s biggest challenges, we don’t need more money thrown at the problems. We need dreamers and doers to respond. Pantries and charities don’t only need donations; they need volunteers to sacrifice their time and energy for the underprivileged.
Similarly, instead of some expensive trinket, our closest loved ones might benefit far more from a kind deed, a personal poem, a homemade gift that took a lot of time and hard work, or simply an instance of self-control when a would-be comment might have fallen insensitively upon the listener’s ears. A more sacrificial gift is a more personal gift.
To regain peace in our lives, we should try to slow down and not fall into step with the march of the mobs consumed by consumerism. Instead, we return our focus to the home, to our families and loved ones. We see their needs, and we respond with a sacrificial gift of self.
At the same time, we should be grateful for all the blessings in our lives. We should not compare ourselves to others as we are wont to do. That only makes us feel jealous or superior when really we’re neither too bad off, nor any greater than the next person.
What we should examine is the blessings God has given us. If you’re reading this from your home or a nice coffee shop or anywhere with indoor heating, you should count yourself lucky.
Be grateful. Then reciprocate.
If we want to experience a happier and healthier Christmas, we should start by imitating the Christkind, the Prince of Peace, the Giver of every good gift.