A Gift Giver’s Guide to Finding Something Meaningful for Everyone

Picking out gifts can be overwhelming, especially this time of year when you see your lengthy list of people you still need to buy for. I’m one of those people who really enjoys it. “Receiving gifts” is my love language – which conversely means I LOVE giving someone the perfect gift as well.

Although “receiving gifts” may sound a little superficial, think about it more along the lines of an act of service (which is also a love language!). It’s not the present that matters, but the thought, time, and effort that was put into the gift. The item is simply a physical manifestation of the affection.

It’s easy to walk into Bath and Body Works, see the “Buy 3 Get 3 Free” sale and that 3-wick candles are 2 for $24 and go, “Ok, everyone gets lotion and candles this year!” Which is nice, but generic, and once the lotion is gone and the candle is burnt out, they won’t remember it or who got it for them.

This isn’t your typical gift guide containing a laundry list of electronic doodads and random gadgets. This is your guide to finding gifts for people in your life that they will truly cherish and be thankful for.

If you want to give a more meaningful gift, read on. Here are some points to consider as you’re deciding what to gift this year.

Things or Experiences?
Does the person you’re giving to like things, or do they like doing things? Some people love filling their home with objects and things they can use. Some people would rather get the gift of something they can do, like concert tickets, a massage, or a trip to the shooting range (my husband is one of those “doers” and loved this gift). If you know the person at all, it’s usually not terribly difficult to tell which category they fall into.

Pro-tip: If you have a “doer” on your hands, check out Groupon for some ideas and deals. Or check to see if there’s a concert or show coming to town in the next couple of months that they might like. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something that they can do immediately.

Milestones in Their Life
Think about what the past few months have brought this person. Did they start a new job? Maybe they need stress-relieving things like a foot massaging spa tub or a journal. Did they just start grad school? Get the things they don’t want to spend money on for themselves, like movie tickets or an espresso machine. Did they travel somewhere cool? Get an artsy canvas print of a photo they took there. If you can tailor their gift to something that’s going on in their life, it’ll really be meaningful (as well as useful!).

Things Mentioned in Passing
Pay close attention to the little things people say around this time of year. You’re not looking for hints to be dropped, but for insights into what they like and might enjoy. For example, “Man, the bar I went to last night was out of ‘insert random alcohol brand here.’” When they open your gift to find a bottle of said stuff, they’ll be 1. excited to get something they actually like, and 2. touched that you pay attention to things they say in passing. (Or if they don’t even remember saying it, they’ll give you the “how did you know!?” moment, which is also great.)

Work People
This is arguably the hardest group of people to buy for because inevitably you know some people better than others (and let’s be honest–you like some better than others), and it’s an office–everybody talks. You don’t want to get your work bestie something awesome and the guy in the cubicle next to you a box of chocolate. It will be painfully clear you put more effort into one than the other, and everyone will know.

Something that can help in this case is to think of a theme for groups of gifts and think of ways to tailor it to everyone. For instance, a theme of “drinks.” You can get the fitness/health buff/yoga girl a water bottle with an infusion insert and the fruit to go with it, your boss who likes wine a pair of cool glasses and a bottle of sparkling rosé, and the guy who’s always at the coffee machine a french press and bag of a seasonal blend. Voila! Everyone has a gift that’s similar but specially customized to them.

People You Don’t Really Know But Feel Obligated to Buy For
There’s always a group of these people. The babysitter, the guy who walks your dog, your neighbor down the hall–none of whom you know well enough to use the above logic on, but you feel compelled to get them something anyway. (Although, I bet if you really think about it, you could identify a few key things about them.) But, if you MUST get something generic, please for the love of gift-giving DON’T get them a prepackaged gift basket. Even if you buy all the same things included in the premade basket and wrapped it all up yourself, they can tell you put it together, and that way it means so much more.

If you go the gift card route, try to avoid the overdone Target and Amazon cards. Yes, everyone can use them, but a lot of people will end up using them on their household necessities the next time they shop there rather than on something fun (who wants to give the gift of toilet paper or laundry detergent?). Instead, think of something or someplace you yourself have always wanted to try but never wanted to splurge on. A month of Blue Apron? That new cute boutique in town? Even if it ends up not totally fitting their personality, they’ll appreciate getting something fun and different.

Gift giving is often thought of as materialistic, but when done with some thought and purpose, it can be a sincere expression of affection and gratefulness. This holiday season, let the people in your life know how much they mean to you, and please walk by that two-for-one candle deal.