Easy Ways to Ease Polarization

Polarization, especially of the political variety, is an inescapable reality in this generation. Communities, churches, and even families have been torn apart as individuals struggle to find their ideological footing. Much of the conflict intensified throughout the 2016 presidential election; the choice between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump seemed to reflect not just political preference, but a fundamental moral decision about the future of the United States of America.

The Pew Research Center released a study in June of 2016 revealing the extent of this polarization. 70% of surveyed Democrats described Republicans as closed-minded, and nearly half of Republicans believed Democrats are immoral. Among Republicans, a greater percentage identified as that party because they believed Democratic policies were bad for the country than identified because they believed Republican policies were good. 45% of Republicans and 41% of Democrats saw the other party as a threat to the nation’s wellbeing, while 55% of Democrats and 49% of Republicans said the other party made them feel afraid. Perhaps most interestingly, more highly engaged members of either political party were more likely to feel the emotions of fear or anger in relation to the other party.

While perhaps disconcerting, this trend is unlikely to reverse in the near future. In fact, many culture-war issues are dividing us more than ever before. Interacting with people who disagree with you is inevitable, and living in a constant state of argumentation is impossible. With that in mind, here are three tips for how you can discuss the most difficult and polarizing topics, without alienating relationships with those who disagree with you.

1. Agree to Disagree

This may be cliché, but you will not convince everyone you meet of your own opinion. In fact, it is unlikely that you will convince anyone of anything if you enter the conversation combatively, trying to “own the libs” or score political points. Your friend or family member who disagrees with you is probably not an evil person; he or she simply has a different way of seeing the world, or has a differently-ordered value system that causes him or her to prioritize different policy positions. Entering any conversation or potential disagreement with an air of humility, recognizing that this person is a friend and not a foe to be vanquished, goes a long way. Agreeing to disagree might be a personal decision that you make internally, or it could be a precursor to a conversation wherein you and your friend commit to remaining civil. Either way, don’t let the temptation to simply win the argument consume you.

2. Embrace Common Ground

Very few people have nothing in common. Find what it is that you and the person you are talking to agree on. Do you share common values? Experiences? Goals for what the United States could be in the future? A pro-life person and a pro-choice person can often agree on the value of supporting women throughout their pregnancies. A socialist and a capitalist both seek prosperity for the underprivileged. Not only does finding common ground provide a starting point for conversation, but it removes much of the animosity in disagreement.

3. Allow Yourself to be Challenged

A meaningful conversation goes two ways; there is speaking, and there is listening. Listening to another person’s point of view is frustrating if it differs from yours, but it’s impossible to disagree respectfully if you do not take the time to understand the other perspective. Engage and interact meaningfully with the viewpoint you are being presented with. This is your chance to think critically about the topic and articulate your own beliefs in a convincing manner. Even if you do not respect the views espoused by the person you are talking to, you can demonstrate your respect for them as an individual by listening well, engaging with his or her argument, and responding in kind.

Today’s political culture often feels zero-sum, and politicians and the media frequently communicate to listeners that they cannot give even an inch. However, disagreeing with others well does not equal compromise or reneging on core beliefs. On the contrary; it allows you to shore up your own knowledge, while building bridges across the aisle. Political polarization is rampant, but that doesn’t mean that you have to take part in it.