The Secret to Networking? Stop Networking.

“Hi, I’m Mary Catherine, and I’m everyone’s new best friend.”

That’s how I introduce myself in nearly every setting, whether I’m at a work event, a conference, or stuck in the TSA line at the airport. It’s a line that tends to get a chuckle, sometimes an eye-roll, but always a reaction. More importantly, it opens the door to a real conversation.

Networking has become one of those words we hear all the time, especially as young professionals. We’re encouraged to do more of it, get better at it, and leverage it for career growth. But here’s the thing: if networking feels like a transactional exchange, we’re missing the point.

Real networking isn’t about collecting contacts, it’s about forming genuine, lasting connections with people who inspire you, challenge you, and walk alongside you through seasons of growth, both professionally and personally.

The most meaningful relationships in my career didn’t come from someone handing me a business card and walking away. They came from shared moments, mutual interests, and a willingness to show up authentically.

One of the best compliments I’ve ever received came from a friend and fellow America’s Future member who once described me as “not easy to forget”—in a good way, thankfully. We met at a conference years ago and reconnected a few months later during the Generation Liberty Fellowship at the State Policy Network’s Annual Meeting. What started as a professional connection but turned into years of shared industry events, travel adventures, and honest conversations about what we’re trying to build—not just in our work, but in the world. 

Our friendship didn’t develop because we needed something from each other. It grew because we took a genuine interest in one another’s lives – far beyond job titles or résumés. That’s the kind of network I always wanted to be part of and the kind I aim to create.

So, how do you build that kind of network? 

Start by showing up as yourself. That might sound simple, but authenticity is often the first thing to go when we feel the pressure to impress. People can tell when you’re putting on a front and they can definitely tell when you’re being real. You don’t have to spill your life story in the first five minutes, but you do need to be open, honest, and genuinely curious. For me, that looks like introducing myself as “everyone’s new best friend.” It might not be your style and that’s okay. What matters is that you find your own way to be memorable, not rehearsed. Authenticity is what makes you memorable, not a perfectly rehearsed elevator pitch.

And once you’ve made the introduction, go deeper. Skip the usual “So, what do you do?” and ask better questions. Ask what brought them to the event, what they’re working on that excites them, or what they’re passionate about outside of work. Even fun, light-hearted questions, like their go-to coffee order or favorite color, can open the door to a more meaningful conversation.

It also helps to look beyond just shared industries or titles. One of the things I love most about AF is how it brings together people with different backgrounds, careers, and experiences but often, we’re united by a shared desire to make an impact. That’s a powerful foundation for connection. When networking, focus less on “How can this person help me professionally?” and more on “What do we care about in common?”. When you focus on your shared values, not just what you do for a living, the connection tends to stick.

And of course, if the conversation is a good on – follow up! So many great connections fade because nobody takes the next step. Connect with them on social media. Send the message. If you said you’d reach out, do it. Reliability builds trust and trust is the foundation of strong networks.

Remember that not every connection has to lead somewhere right away. Some of the most meaningful relationships in my life started slowly, over time. Think of networking less like speed dating and more like planting seeds. Nurture those connections, stay curious, and give them space to grow into something real. 

So the next time you walk into a room full of new faces, challenge yourself to go beyond the small talk. Ask questions that matter. Be the kind of person people don’t forget—not because of a perfectly delivered introduction, but because you showed up as yourself and cared enough to make it count.

And who knows? You might just meet your new best friend.