Just tell your kids no

There’s a relatively absurd New York Times piece about a bunch of whiny parents who can’t control their whiny kids (wonder where they get it from) when the ice cream truck comes around:

“I feel kind of bad about having developed this attitude,” she said. “I want Katherine to have the full childhood experience and all. But it’s really predatory for them — two of them — to be right inside the playground like this.”

Dana Stevens chimes in to defend the whiners:

But the fact is, the omnipresence of those trucks is a curse for parents at playgrounds. Even if you don’t give in to your child’s begging, the arrival of Mr. Softee inevitably turns a fun playground excursion into a half-hour or more of whining and fighting about ice cream, which is followed either by the resentful buying of ice cream, or a tearful dragging home.

Cry me a freaking river. How about teaching your kids a valuable lesson: They can’t always have what they want, even if all they want is some delicious ice cream! This is not a hard concept to impart to your youngsters, but it does take a little firmness of resolve. Make the ice cream cart a special treat, but teach them that’s all it is. And if they complain too fervently, take them home and put them in the damn corner. (Or, heaven forbid, break out the wooden spoon. I’m not saying you should deliver a full on beating — people who physically abuse children are the scum of the earth — but a little swat on the butt now and then never hurt anyone.)

(You could also do like my parents did: When the ice cream truck came around our neighborhood, I would delightedly yell “The music truck, the music truck!” and watch as it passed by. Why would I do this? Because my parents lied to me and told me that the ice cream truck was in fact the music truck, and tooled around town offering people the joy of a free song, or some such. (They probably didn’t even need to come up with a reason, because kids are stupid.) Looking back on it now, I can’t help but feel both cheated and somewhat in awe: That’s a pretty elegant solution to a potentially difficult child-rearing problem.)