Roger Stephens: American Hero

We’ve all been there: a stranger’s baby won’t stop screaming while out in public because the mother or father just can’t be bothered to keep control of their child. (My favorite version is when it happens in a restaurant — nothing completes a $40 or $50 meal like a child misbehaving in the background while the parents do nothing.) Meet Roger Stephens a/k/a America’s greatest hero:

The Georgia man, 61, was shopping Monday morning at a Walmart in Stone Mountain when he crossed paths with Sonya Matthews and her two-year-old daughter Paige. The child was crying, which apparently greatly perturbed Matthews. “If you don’t shut that baby up I will shut her up for you,” Stephens warned Matthews, according to a Gwinnett County Police Department report. Moments later, Stephens acted on his threat, slapping Paige “across the face approximately four or five times.”

He should have slapped the mother while he was at it. Adults who don’t control their children are worse than malaria. Click through to check out the mugshot: He looks exactly like you would expect, weathered and crotchety.