Soft-core porn Yule Log

Happy holidays, all.  Alessandra Stanley’s got a funny one here on the postmodern Yule Log:

It seems like cheating, or bad karma, but it’s possible to have a yule log crackling on the television screen anytime, even several days before Christmas — or on Halloween or Presidents’ Day, for that matter.

With titles like “Ambient Fire” and “The Happy Holiday Hearth,” yule log DVDs offer a dizzying array of flaming options, from stately baroque plumes to crispy, woodsy campfires. There is even a soft-core porn Christmas log: on “Yule a Go-Go,” dancers like Ms. Tickle and Bunny Love perform tassled, spangled burlesque-style stripteases to Christmas carols in front of a roaring fire. (Actually, those flames are quite subdued, for perhaps obvious reasons.) . . . .

“The Original Christmas Yule Log Fireplace” is really more of a copy, and that title is likely to offend WPIX loyalists, who know that the original was the brainstorm of Fred M. Thrower, the president of WPIX Inc. This version, created more than 20 years ago by Steve Siporin, a Californian, has a more lavish Ralph Lauren-style fireplace setting — horse paintings and chintz armchairs — though once the camera closes in on the fire, the flames are quite soothing.

This DVD, like most others, has many choices. It also comes with a director’s cut: Mr. Siporin, in a turtleneck and windbreaker, poses against a backdrop of ocean waves lapping gently on the shore and answers so-called frequently asked questions, starting with how he came up with the idea. Mr. Siporin gives WPIX credit, explaining that he saw its log at a friend’s apartment while visiting New York in 1981. He then talks at such length about his life and oeuvre that before he’s finished, the sun sets in gold and pink stripes behind him.

(Hat tip: RD)