Clueless Collectivists and the Snowpocalypse

I live on the seventh floor of an apartment building in downtown D.C., my car parked safely underground, so I’ve watched the deluge of snow with a mixture of fascination and curiosity. Fascination at the way the city has dealt with the problem of (what appears to be at least) 30 inches of snow on the ground over the past week; curiosity as to what people are doing with the cars that are buried under the snow. One car has been there for so long that it has started to accumulate snow drifts on either side. You can barely see any of it.

But what if that driver decided to dig out. It would take at least an hour — probably more like two — to clear the snow off the car, from around the car, and carve out a path to the street. And this is an hour of back-wrenching labor: This is heavy snow. Should he be entitled to that spot when he comes back from work? Or should it just be up for grabs from whoever happens to drive by?

Apparently in Chicago you can save a spot you’ve dug out for up to two days. Not in D.C. Nope. In D.C., you are going to lose that spot and there’s nothing you can do about it. But don’t worry: Representatives of the government think you have it coming:

In the District, said city transportation spokesman John Lisle, blocking spots is illegal. “We would hope people would work together and clear out several spaces instead of just one, but you can’t block a space,” he said.

So let me see if I get this straight: Not only should I lose the spot that I dig out, but I should also dig out other spots that will also certainly be gone by the time I get back from work. Is that right? I believe the proper response to that idea is a clean, concise “Bite me.”

Anyway, it’s times like these that I’m relatively glad to be unemployed. No worries about getting anywhere or leaving the comfort of my home. Though I will almost certainly run out of food by Friday. That could be problematic.