The New York Times goes to Antigua

If you thought the new Democratic majority had declared war on the idle rich, think again. The New York Times is going to heroic lengths to serve this vital demographic through thick and thin, forfeiting bitter days of winter for Mai Tais on the beach just to make sure you get the scoop. That’s right, rising unemployment, stagnating markets, creeping inflation, two wars, and a salivating Congress fixing to spend a couple trillion dollars after interest all add up to one thing: it’s time to go to Antigua. But how will you know where to go when you’re there? Fear not! The Times is spending its scarce foreign budget dollars to keep you informed on all the sights to see on the beautiful Caribbean island:

TINY Antigua, 14 miles long and 11 miles wide, is one of those famously paradisiacal islands that actually lives up to the hype. Pristine beaches (there are 365 of them, if you can believe the tourist brochures) fleck the coastline, and everywhere you look there is yet another exhilarating view of sea, cliff or tropical landscape. An array of über-luxurious resorts have cashed in on the lush surroundings, and provide their well-heeled guests with so many hedonistic diversions that many never emerge to see what lies beyond the resort gates. Which is a shame, because if you drive from, say, English Harbour in the south to Dickenson Bay in the northwest, you’ll find another, more intimate, Antigua: small towns bustling with activity, a local cricket game in full swing, inland roads lined with “fig” (banana) trees, and everywhere, the stone remnants of windmills, a legacy of the island’s colonial role as one of the Caribbean’s most prolific sugar producers, when Antigua, a British outpost, was an island of slaves.

“Yes, it really is soooooo dreary here amid all the peasants. Terrible for the skin, too. We really must away. Garçon! Garçon! Fetch my bags!”

Jesus. It’s almost enough to make you want the Democrats to bring capitalism to an end. Are the Sandinistas hiring?