November 27, 2009

You know exactly who’s. To. Blame.

By: Sonny Bunch

Via Rod, I came across this column regarding misbehaving children, in which author Jacquielynn Floyd asks just what obligation the rest of us have to put up with children behaving like little monsters in public spaces.

As a jet bound for San Jose prepared to leave Amarillo, a toddler on board threw a full-tilt shrieking fit. The little boy screamed for the plane to get moving. He wailed monotonously, inconsolably, for his daddy. His mother’s efforts to shush him had no effect.

What’s a flight crew to do?

In this case, they taxied back to the gate and put mother and child off the plane. Later, Southwest called the mom with an apology and $300 to compensate for the delay. …

In an informal subsequent news poll, about three-quarters of respondents agreed with the airline’s decision. But the minority who disagreed were irate at what they view as an increasingly selfish, child-intolerant culture.

Rod sympathizes, hinting at the real problem:

But too many parents these days don’t give a rip, and expect everyone to put up with whatever their jerky kids do. This is egregious and uncivil. But you know, I never, ever know how to handle these situations, other than to walk away, or sometimes to ask the parent politely to please mind their child, because Junior is hitting me, or my kid, or throwing spaghetti at our table. I can say that in my experience, most parents act offended that you bothered to say anything to them. Me, if my kid’s behavior caused a stranger to speak to me about it, I would die a thousand deaths, and couldn’t apologize fast enough. And I would be careful to do whatever I could to keep it from happening again.

I’ve had my own run-ins with people who think I’m a child-hating monster because I admit that uncontrolled screaming brats bother me to no end and, further, admitted feeling a little kinship for the guy who slapped one in a Wal-Mart. I was exaggerating a bit for effect; the problem, of course, is not the children. The problem, as Rod notes, is the parents. As with most of life’s greatest problems, the Oompa Loompas tackled it years ago:

Oompa loompa doompadee doo
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompadee dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat
Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame
You know exactly who’s to blame
The mother and the father

Oompa loompa doompadee dah
If you’re not spoiled then you will go far
You will live in happiness, too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee doo

Your child screaming doesn’t bother me. Your indifference to your child screaming — and your indifference to the annoyance it causes everyone within earshot — is what bothers me. I’ll give you a pass if you are legitimately trying to shut your kid up … but if you’re using it as a “teaching moment” or think “he’ll just cry himself out” or are “trying to establish that he can’t just scream and get what he wants” and make no semblance of an effor to at least apologize for how much you’re inconveniencing everyone else … then I despise you.